German Living

The Berliner Diet

Okay, Berlin. Tell me your secret.

I’ve marched up and down this town the past few days and haven’t seen one single water fountain. And if someone wants to drink water at a restaurant, they can just forget it. They might as well be drinking soda or beer, because they’re the same price.

People of Germany, what are you made of? The average human being  supposedly consists of 70% water, but I cannot believe that your physical make-up is the same. Not when there is no free drinking water to be found anywhere. Not when no one else at restaurants orders water to drink. And not when my subletter looked confused and mildly disgusted when I asked her for a glass of tap water to drink.

This afternoon I went to my local grocery store to stock up on some noms. I’ve always subconsciously assumed that a grocery store presents its products in roughly the same proportions that its shoppers consume them. So if the average grocery-store-goer’s diet consists of 40% carbs and 25% vegetables, the store is going to reflect that by stocking carbs as 40% and vegetables as 25% of its products. I really think this is true, and if I’m wrong, please just don’t tell me, because I prefer to live my life thinking I’m always right.

So after my grocery store adventure, and going along with my above-explicated theory, I think I’ve discovered what Germans are made of:

Booze and chocolate.

That’s right: 50% of the store’s merchandise consisted of beer, wine, and candy. And I know I exaggerate a lot, but this is not one of those times. Half of the store sold regular food with vitamins and minerals and all that stuff that helps keep you alive, and the other half sold alcohol and sugar.

I don’t know what this means for the German food pyramid, but I feel like there’s probably a diagram out there somewhere that explains it to me. In the meantime, though, I think I’m gonna go eat a bar of Ritter Sport chocolate and drink a glass of Berliner Kindl for dinner.

Netto: Come here to stock up on your three main food groups: Booze, Chocolate, and Everything Else.

Netto Discount Market. Come here to stock up and save big on your three main food groups: Booze, Chocolate, and Everything Else.


One thought on “The Berliner Diet

  1. Pingback: Christmas Markets in Munich, Vol. 1 | The Frogmartian Chronicles

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