My roommates are real nice. I like ’em lots. As you already know, Jannik won me over when he saved me and my mom from the clutches of my evil bedroom door. And Stephanie is cool just because she laughs politely at my jokes. Which is pretty much the only thing you have to do for me to like you.
Last night we went out to what was supposed to be some sort of music event involving electronic music and kayaks (yes, kayaks). But first we wandered around Kreuzberg for about three hours, stopping at restaurants and eating and drinking and being merry. Then we finally got to a place that I don’t even think was the music event place, but that was outside and was next to a river. The jury is out on whether the mysterious concrete wall right next to this outdoor club was The Berlin Wall or just A Wall in Berlin. I think it was The Wall, because that thing has a distinctive look that says, “Hi. I am The Berlin Wall. Behold my oppression and graffiti,” and the place we were at was just hipstery enough for The Wall to be there ironically. This place also had giant couch-plank-swing next to the river, which I insisted everyone climb upon in order to risk life and limb. We all did, and also got some French dudes (who called Arkansas, “Ah yes, Arkansauce!”) to join us.
You may be wondering how I made friends with my roommates so quickly. Well, I will tell you. I simply impressed them with a stunning display of German-speaking brilliance: Stephanie asked me to tell them something in German, and in a panic, I blurted out my go-to beginner’s German phrase, “Ich muss die Katze füttern.” That’s right, y’all. I wowed my roommates by telling them that I have to feed the cat. It may be hard to believe, but it really was that easy. And ever since then, we’ve spent countless hours in deep conversation about feeding cats: how I haven’t been upholding my cat-feeding responsibilities, how the cat is probably dead now, and how I cooked the cat in the oven for a Cat Kebab.