I’ve always wondered what English sounds like to non-English speakers. Like obviously German sounds like Hush-kush-bahhchch-sssh-ahhch-digung and French is like Hwee-wee-lalelooloo-garage-zzz-zzz-zzz and so on. But what about English?
One time I looked for Youtube videos of people imitating English and found nothing useful. So I just assumed that American English sounds to everyone else in the world like it sounds to me, which is exactly right and normal.
But lo and behold, I was wrong.
I talked to my roommate Stephanie tonight and found out that my English approximates an entirely new language to her because of my American accent. Because like for some reason Germans and the rest of the world learn British English instead of Exactly Right and Normal American English. I don’t know why. Sometimes England gets all uppity about its claim to the language, and the rest of the non-English-speaking world buys into this language elitism. Whatever.
So Stephanie explained to me that I sound like this:
Yes, that’s right. I sound like a pirate dinosaur. The jury is still out on how I feel about this.
In other news, the German word for dinosaur is Dinosaurier.
And for all you cursing types out there, you can proclaim your indignation at my accent being described as pirate dinosaur talk by exclaiming either “Was zur Hölle?!” or “Was zum Teufel?!”