The past two months, I’ve been ever-so-slowly working my way through Game of Thrones. I’m nearly done with the second season, and I know most of you are probably wondering what is wrong with me because two seasons of Game of Thrones is only twenty episodes and less than twenty hours and come on, Molly, get your priorities straight. Okay, I get it.
Game of Thrones is set in a fictional land where there are two seasons: summer and winter. Summer is coldish, so everyone wears furs and stuff, but winter is even colder. It’s also the worst thing ever because it’s dark for months and the snow piles up so high that it covers entire houses and people have to ration food and one time the winter lasted for like twenty years and a bunch of peasants died because they’re on the bottom of the food-rationing ladder and sorry, peasants.
So naturally everyone in Game of Thrones is afraid of the winter. All that I’ve watched so far is set in the summer, but about five times in each episode characters feel the need to remind everyone that “WINTER IS COMING.” And as I’m watching this show, I have no idea what this winter is really going to be like, but it sounds awful, and since everyone else is terrified of it, I am too. Kind of like when you’re walking down the street and everyone around you starts screaming and running and you don’t see anything to be afraid of but you start screaming and running too because probably you’re about to get zapped by an alien laser beam.
People in Germany talk about winter in basically the same way, saying that winter is horrible and snow is gross. But even worse, Germans also whisper about this monster named Krampus that will come kidnap you if you don’t eat enough chocolate. Or something like that.
I’ve been hearing all this talk about the horrors of winter, and then lo and behold it snowed this past Thursday night! And again on Friday morning! And the high for both days was like 40 degrees! But don’t ever tell a German that it’s 40 degrees outside in October, because Germans measure temperature in Celsius for who-knows-what-reason and therefore they will look at you like you’ve lost your ever-lovin’ thermometer.
Now I’m pretty sure that autumn has nearly left Germany and WINTER IS COMING, y’all. And I don’t even have a winter coat here yet, which means I’ve been wearing two jackets at the same time. I have become that person.
Let’s just take this time to thank Thor for German duvets. They have some sort of mysterious fluff inside of them that looks and acts like feathers but really must be the by-product of some black magic devilry, because they keep you as warm and toasty as a Hot Pocket in its little warming sleeve, and surely no duck ever needs to be that warm and toasty.