Today officially marks the third month that I have lived in Germany. That’s 90 days of me fumblebumbling my way through the German language, history, and culture. Along the way, I have probably also mortally offended 90 Germans. Deutschland, es tut mir Leid.
Those of you who know random facts about Europe probably know that most non-Europeans (including Americans) are only allowed to stay here for 90 days unless they have a visa. I guess because Europeans can only handle so much of our fumblebumbling and profuse apologizing before they just can’t take it anymore. Unless, of course, we agree to help stimulate their economy by getting jobs. If that happens, then we can fumblebumble and profusely apologize for really long stretches of time.
Well kids, I’m gonna be fumblebumbling and es-tut-mir-Leid-ing around Germany for a while longer, because I got my work visa. Here is what I will not be doing:
- Leading tours up one side of an Alpine mountain and down the other.
- Crash-test-dummying for BMW (which stands for Bavarian Motor Works and has the Bavarian flag in its logo. Did you know? DID YOU KNOW?!?!)
- Taste-testing new recipes for Bavarian pretzels.
- Touring on Germany’s professional rock-paper-scissors circuit.
- Cooking Da Best Meth Evar in the style of Walter White.
Here is what I will be doing:
- Teaching English as a foreign language.
If you are mortally offended by my choice of teaching over all of the other above-mentioned career options, please get in line behind the above-mentioned 90 Germans, who will get to go first in telling me the myriad ways I have psychologically scarred them with my fumblebumbling and es-tut-mir-Leid-ing.