I flew back to Germany this past weekend, and I’m pretty sure that, thanks to jet lag, my sleep schedule will never be right again.
On my international flight, I sat next to this French soldier dude who kept muttering things that I think I was supposed to respond to. I could never understand what he was saying, though, so after fifty Whats and twenty Huhs I finally gave up and fell back on my standard just-smile-and-nod response. After a while he also gave up on trying to have a conversation and fell asleep. I tried to sleep a little too, and came as close to sleeping as you can in an upright position with a flimsy fleece blanket and six inches of leg room.
When I woke up an hour later, I found myself in some quasi-cuddlefest situation with French Soldier Dude. Like we weren’t actually cuddling, but his legs were all splayed in my general direction, and our heads were awfully close to touching. I tried to quietly and nonchalantly get out of Cuddle Time without Soldier Dude noticing, and mostly succeeded. Until Soldier Dude’s head flopped over onto my shoulder and began the era of OMG This Rando Dude is Laying His Head On Me Okay Just Act Natural He is Asleep Wait No He Just Lifted His Head to Cough Oh Okay Nope Still Using My Shoulder as the World’s Boniest Pillow Why. This era lasted somewhere between three and forty days.
In order to distract myself and assuage my Why Are You Sleeping on Me Mr. Stranger sensibilities, I created a playlist from the plane’s music selection. Here is what I came up with (links to Youtube versions in song titles):
- Royals by Lorde: this gal is exactly who I want to sound like when I’m sixteen. Also, my hair aspires to her hair’s heights of I Didn’t Even Try to Make My Hair Look Like This It’s Just Naturally Perfect. And by the way, if you haven’t listened to her album yet, the whole thing is amazeballz.
- Anything Could Happen by Ellie Goulding: this song makes me feel happy because it is just a lovely-sounding song. Also, for about five minutes in July, I had decided that I was going to shave the side of my head so that I would have the same hairstyle as Ellie, but then I realized that there’s no turning back from a shaved head, and maybe I’m not ready to be bald just yet. Also also, I’m noticing a pattern in my life involving singers and my hair.
- Comeback Story by Kings of Leon: Kings of Leon is on the tip-top of my list of all-time favorite bands evar, and this is my favorite song on their new album. When I listen to the album, I stop on this song and just let it play on repeat for about seventy times.
- Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen: one time I decided that this is the most perfect rock song ever written, and I still stand by that conclusion.
- Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke: don’t even act like you don’t love this song. My confession here is that this song and Daft Punk’s Get Lucky have been best able to conjure up a visceral homesickness in me while in Germany. It is what it is.
- Come and Get It by Selena Gomez: I had no idea Selena was amazing until I heard this song.
- Demons by Imagine Dragons: I heard this song for the first time over Christmas break, and the line about where his demons hide seals the deal for me.
- Cups by Anna Kendrick: Because clapping and hitting cups is fun to sing along to.
- Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey: the new Great Gatsby movie with Leo DiCaprio! Have you seen it yet? Stop what you’re doing and watch it right now if not. This is important.
- Closer by Tegan and Sara: if my sister and I were actually twins and could also sing really well, we would probably be able to compete with this singing duo. But we’re not and we can’t, so I’ll let them win this time.
I now see that 78% of these songs could be construed as me promoting cuddlefests with strangers on planes. But in my defense, I was jet lag drunk when I made it.
After all the head-on-shoulder shenanigans were over and French Soldier Dude woke up, he leaned over and apologized profusely. Somehow that made everything a thousand times more embarrassing and awkward, so I’m just going to pretend like he leaned over and said, “Yep. I totes meant to pass out on you. You’re welcome.”